


Don't Let Me Go

by shadybitch



Series: season 3b missing scenes/headcanons [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-09
Updated: 2014-07-09
Packaged: 2018-05-05 04:01:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5360492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadybitch/pseuds/shadybitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After spending the whole day together trying to figure it out who had cast the new curse, Regina and Emma aren't ready to let go of each other just yet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Let Me Go

Emma was sitting comfortably in a chair in the hall just outside her parents loft with a glass of scotch in her hand, and bored as hell.

After an exhausting but yet quite enjoyable and revealing day, she had stayed at Mary Margaret and David's loft to talk about further plans. Henry stayed too, though he pretty much watched tv until he fell asleep in the couch. As the late hours came Emma didn't want to wake him just so they would head back to the bed & breakfast; that on top of the danger of wandering in the streets of Storybrooke knowing the freaking Wicked Witch is out there to get them made Emma chose to stay over with her parents.

But now that Mary Margaret and David went to bed and she was sleepless and having as company just an old almost empty bottle scotch found in the dusty corner of the cabinet, she wondered if it had been a good idea after all.

That's when her phone rang.

"Who the hell calls a person at this unholy hour", she thought annoyed putting her glass down and checking the screen. The ID caller showed brightly  _Regina_ , and Emma could help the smile that crept on her face, "of course".

She answers but before she could to say 'hello' a deep warm voice on the other end calls "Miss Swan?"

She grimaces to the use of such formal title. "Yes?"

"Were you sleeping?", Regina asks a little hesitant.

"No, I wasn't", Emma replies quickly and then adds with a frown "Something wrong?"

"Oh no, no", the brunette dismisses. "Everything is fine, at least as much 'fine' as it can be given our current situation", she answers with a light chuckle. "I just wished to speak to you", she then pauses for a moment and adds "I hope I'm not interrupting anything…"

"You're not", Emma cuts her off.

"Are you certain? I can call another time"

"Yeah I'm sure", the blonde says and takes a sip of her drink, curious about this call. "So, what's up?"

There's a hesitance on the other end of the call. "How's Henry?"

"Out like a light", Emma answers. As Regina remains silent she elaborates, "Mary Margaret, David and I had a long conversation about what's going on and the kid ended up falling asleep in the couch, and since I'm not gonna carry him half sleep back to Grannys - you know he's a kicker - we're gonna crash here tonight". She's actually interested in engaging a conversation here, though she couldn't tell exactly why. Maybe the scotch wasn't enough to kill the boredom.

"That's probably the best idea", Regina agrees. Then after a second of silence, "Are you parents still awake?"

It was like she wanted to say something specific but didn't know how, so she was stalling. A part of Emma wanted to just say 'cut the crap and spit it out' but the other part wanted to just talk and see where this was going. She chose the latter.

"No, they went to bed a little while ago", the blonde says and empties her glass.

"Oh, then I'm not going to keep you from you beauty sleep too"

"No, that's cool", Emma dismisses. "I'm not sleepy anyways", then pauses briefly and adds, "I'm actually kinda bored"

"I thought you'd find things to do to pass time, such as eat and talk and watch", Regina says and even though she couldn't see her, Emma knew the brunette was smiling, "at least that's what you said at our stick out today"

"It's stakeout", the blonde corrects her, amused. "And yes, I'd do that but I'm not really in the mood of doing things that I normally do, probably because my life is everything but normal right now"

"Yes, I can relate to that", Regina agrees. "I'm actually feeling a little energetic with our latest discovery about our adversary", she confesses.

"Yeah I'm kinda pumping adrenaline too. I feel like we're catching up with the enemy and that I should be doing things but there's nothing I can really do right this second and that's fucking frustrating"

"I feel the same way, minus the coarse language and with more eloquence and elegancy of course", Regina says with a teasing tone.

"Haha very funny", Emma says back with feigned annoyance.

A low warm laugh takes over the other end of the call and Emma just can't help it but laugh along. Then there's a moment of silence in the line.

"But I'm guessing you didn't call to share feelings", Emma says.

"No, I…", Regina starts, then hesitates. "Actually I did, in a way. It's not really to share my feelings but I did want to say something", she explains. "I…", Emma hears a sigh on the other end of the call and there's a pause, "I wanted to thank you"

Feeling the unsure tone in Regina's voice, the blonde decides to tease the other woman to keep the conversation light. "Two 'thank yous' in one day? You sure everything is okay?"

"Yes, well, if you don't want them I will gladly take them back", Regina bites back, annoyed.

"No, no, no", Emma shakes her head, "by all means, Your Majesty, proceed with your gratitude"

She hears Regina muttering at the other end of the call, "Why did I bother? I knew I would regret doing that the second I said thank you"

"Wow, another 'thank you'?", Emma cuts her off and teases again, "you're on fire today, aren't you?"

"That's it, I'm ending this call, good night Miss Swan", Regina says apparently truly angry.

"Wait, Regina, I'm just mess…", Emma starts to explain but the line goes dead.

"Damn it woman, you used to have something like sense of humor", the blond says to herself a little annoyed as she stares at her phone.

She proceeds to call back, then rethinks that. Why would she call her back? Regina was the one who wanted to talk, right? Emma didn't do anything, she was just messing around. She then puts her phone down and looks around to choose what's gonna occupy her time now. She got nothing.

"Who am I kidding", she mutters to herself as she calls Regina back.

"Yes?", a cold throaty voice answers after five rings.

"I wasn't sure you would pick up", Emma says with relief, though she knew the other woman was still pissed off.

"And lose the chance of hearing your apologies?"

"What would I apologize for?"

"Being a jerk when I was trying to be nice?", the brunette offers irritated.

"First of all, I wasn't being a jerk, I was just joking to break the ice. And second of all…", Emma stops to think for a second then says "well, that's pretty much it."

"How thoughtful of you", Regina bites back.

"How you went from nice and appreciative to sassy sarcastic bitch so fast?", Emma says amused by the other woman's irritation over such foolish things.

"Simple, I spoke to you for a minute. That's all it takes for the poles to change"

That's when Emma couldn't hold it back anymore and laughed loudly at this strange yet so familiar conversation.

"What are you laughing at?", Regina asks, half angry half surprised.

"Would I sound bat shit crazy if said that I kinda missed our little banters?", Emma offers between chuckles.

"Definitely yes", the brunette says back categorically.

"But?"

"There's no 'but'"

"Of course there's a 'but'", the blonde states with confidence and insists, "Spit it out"

There's a loud dramatic sigh on the other side of the call. "But… I may have missed them too"

"There you go", Emma says laughing again, to what Regina chuckles too.

The laughs die on the line and there's a moment of silence. Then Emma breaks it, "Hey, what are you doing right now?"

"Talking to you"

"Well, thank you Mrs Obvious", the blonde says back rolling her eyes, "I mean besides that"

"Nothing much", the brunette says with a sigh, "just sitting in my couch enjoying the quiet and waiting for the urge to go to sleep"

"Are you drinking?"

"No", Regina says a little too fast and unsure.

Emma chuckles at that and calls out on the lie, "Of course you are, and I'm not judging, I had a few glasses of my own". She pauses for a moment to rethink the idea that just crossed her mind but decides to go for it. "I was actually gonna ask if you still have that best apple cider I've ever tasted", she offers remembering the first time she met Regina Mills and they shared a drink.

There's a moment of pause on the other side of the call. "Maybe", Regina says with hesitance, "Why?"

"I wanna check if it still tastes the same"

"Are you certain you want to do that?", Regina says with caution which makes Emma rethink what she had suggested. But then she dismisses the thoughts when Regina teases, "last time you blacked out and destroyed Storybrooke's welcome sign".

"It wasn't the drinks", the blonde answers a little annoyed.

"That's not how I remember", Regina continues with the teasing.

"It was a fucking wolf that took me off the road!", Emma takes the bait.

"Of course it did"

"You know what? Nevermind, it was a stupid idea anyway", Emma snaps irritated.

"Oh, camon Miss Swan! You're the only one that can make jokes?", Regina snaps back.

"I vividly recall Sidney Glass saying that you don't joke", the blonde says cooling down, "and yes, I'm the only one who can because I'm actually funny"

"I beg to differ", Regina cuts her off with a huff.

"Not allowed"

"Excuse me", the brunette says sharply.

"You're gonna pour me a drink or not?", Emma cuts her off, tired of the stalling.

There's a loud annoyed sigh on the other end of the call. "Fine", Regina says.

"Then I'll be right there", Emma says back with and ends the call, rushing to the mansion.

* * *

Regina is feeling a little anxious with the idea of Emma coming over at this hour for a drink. She knows that it's not a big deal; it's not like they're going to get drunk and do unthinkable things, they're more self restrained than that, specially at critical times like this. They're just gonna talk, just the two of them spending time together. That's all they did all day anyways. No biggie.

But she can't help the racing of her heart when she hears the knock on the door.

She stops at the foyer and takes a deep breath, putting up her most welcoming fake smile (which is not as fake as she meant it to be), then opens the door. "Miss Swan"

"Madam Mayor", Emma replies with a genuine smile of her own.

"Ah, the good old days", Regina observes trying to suppress her chuckles then she moves out of the way so Emma can come in. "It almost sounds like you are using the title out of respect"

"But I am", Emma says making a beeline to Regina's study, "if I wanted to be ironic I would use Your Majesty"

"By all means, make yourself at home", the brunette mutters while closes the door, more amused than irritated by the fact that Emma is so comfortable in her once enemy's house.

Regina finds the blonde walking around the study, examining the contents of the shelves. She thinks about making a snarky comment about the other woman's lack of boundaries but decides not to, at least for now. So she busies herself with pouring the drinks and resumes the conversation. "What's the difference?"

As Emma turns to her with a frown, she elaborates. "Between the meaning of Your Majesty and Madam Mayor to you"

"Oh", the blonde starts while walks back to get the glass Regina is offering. "Well, you're not my Queen so there's no way I would kneel and call you Majesty for real", she explains with a smirk, to what the brunette raises an eyebrow. "But I did know you as the ruthless ice cold pain in the ass Mayor of Storybrooke, and I worked with you"

"For me", Regina jumps in correcting her.

"WITH you", Emma repeats with a glare, "for a pretty long time so I respect that". She then sits in the small couch next to the fireplace while Regina takes the opposite chair, crossing her toned legs. The blonde takes a sip of her drink and adds with a shrug "And you are, at some level, a good Mayor"

Regina stares at her slightly taken aback by the other woman's admission. She clears her throat and replies "Well, you were, at some level, a decent enough sheriff"

"I was the best", Emma says back with a teasing arrogance, then she adds "but don't tell David I said that"

"He's not so incompetent either", Regina states and Emma seems slightly surprised and amused by it, so the brunette adds with a pointy look "but don't tell him I said that"

"I won't if you admit that you miss me as sheriff"

"You better lie down", Regina starts and as Emma looks confused at her, she explains "since you're going to wait for something that will never happen"

Emma laughs at this and takes a sip of her drink. "Well, I do miss that"

Now is Regina's turn to look confused.

Emma sighs and explains herself. "I miss the simpler times, back when I got here. I was just the sheriff and not the savior; my obligations were so much easier. All I had to do was paper work since nothing really happened in this town. Occasionally I would have to fight some bicthy Mayor, but I could handle her", she smirks and Regina just rolls her eyes. She takes another sip and continues her explaining, "I was close to my parents without the pressure of being their daughter. I had friends, real fun friends that I could hang out with in my free time, because I actually had that back then. I would spend time with Henry, and we would have fun playing spies and everything would be so light and carefree". After a pause and a sigh she adds "I just miss the blissful ignorance"

"Me too", Regina says taking a large sip of her own drink. "Every second of every day. I'd do anything to have that back"

Emma stares at her for a moment. "Would you do anything different? Be honest"

"Maybe", there's a pause, "I don't know", another pause, "Probably". She sighs and adds, "Not everything. In fact, mostly I would do the same as I did the first time around. But I would do other things differently, like enrich my relationship with Henry and build a real bond with him". She takes another sip and says with a smirk of her own "and I would definitely give more paper work to the lazy sheriff I had back then".

Emma smiles at that and takes a sip of her drink. Silence fills the room, but it's not an awkward one. It's actually quite peaceful.

Emma is the one who breaks it. "Why did you call me? What were you gonna thank me for?"

"Oh", Regina says finally remembering what had initiated this whole thing in the first place. "I wanted to thank you for insisting on me meeting Henry", she smiles softly and continues, "I thought it was best to push him away, push away what I was feeling with him being around, but I was wrong. I can never really push him away, he's… he's all I have. Even if he's not mine anymore, he's still everything to me".

Regina can feel the tears burning the back of her eyes so she looks down and avoids the blonde's gaze just in case she can't hold them back. She continues, "He doesn't remember me but I will always remember him, and pushing him away is not going to change that. I know that now more than ever; after being close to him, seeing his face again, seeing him smiling to me with that pure light innocence that a boy his age should have", she chuckles and adds, "even though he seems way older than he is, I mean, how did he get so big in one year?"

"Hormones, tons of them", Emma says with a shrug.

Regina just barks a laugh and shakes her head. "My little prince is not so little anymore. But anyways, that's what I wanted to thank you for…"

"Wait, what did you just call Henry?", Emma cuts her off.

"My little prince", Regina repeats looking up with a knowing smile.

"That's… that's what I call him", the blonde says with narrowed eyes. "I've been calling him that since"

"Since he was a baby, I know", now is Regina that cuts her off holding up that knowing smile.

"How…?", Emma starts looking truly confused. The after a second her emerald eyes go wide as she seems to have reached a conclusion, "wait… Oh my God", she shakes her head as realization downs on her. "The memories… the memories you gave me", she stammers, "th-they are… yours?"

Regina's smile just grows in size and sweetness. "Yes", she admits as a single tear rolls down her cheek. "Not all of them, of course", she explains as she sweeps away that stubborn tear. "Just the ones with Henry. All my moments with him, from first words and first steps to small ones like our daily routine to get him ready for school", she sighs. "Just… everything I lived with him in those first ten years of his life, when it was just the two of us"

"Why?", Emma asks in a whisper, still too shocked by the revelation to speak in a full voice.

"Because I wanted to stay in his life somehow", Regina shrugs but it's the most fake thing in the world since everybody knows how meaningful this moment is to her. "I didn't want him to forget me completely, to forget everything we had together, which was not as bad as everyone thinks", she states and there's something in her tone that sounds a lot like hurt.

"Yeah, I know now", Emma says more to herself. She then shakes her head and looks back to the woman in front of her. "But why share that with me? You had been competing for him with me since I got here, why would you just let me have what was only for the two of you?"

Regina just looks at her like she's stupid for not seeing something that is so obvious.

As the blonde just continues to look at her with deep confusion in her eyes, Regina explains, "Because Emma - and I'm only saying this for the sake of the conversation since I'm certain you already know that - something changed in Neverland". She holds Emma's gaze, almost daring the other woman to say that she's wrong. As the blonde says nothing, she keeps going, "There, in the middle of that damn forest, while we searched and fought for the life of our son we finally accepted that he is OUR son".

She thinks she sees Emma's lip twitch upwards at this, like she's trying to suppress a smile, but decides not to think much of it and just continues her explanation. "I had the chance to give you happy memories with him, and somehow preserve the trueness of my time with him, I just couldn't deprive the three of us from this small victory. You would have done the same thing"

"Yeah, but in theory I'm more selfless than you are", Emma points out.

Immediately a fire creeps on Regina's chocolate eyes, and she snaps sarcastically "Of course, because I've never made a sacrifice before in my life, while you…"

"Hey, hey, I said 'in theory'", Emma cuts her off with her hands up in surrender, "That means 'what should happen' not 'what really happens'"

"'What should happen' according to whom?", Regina says back angrily.

"I don't know, the fairytale book? Karma? The bible? Disney?", Emma offers, and just when Regina is about to say her comeback she dismisses and tries to fix the situation, "It doesn't matter, what matters is that you proved them wrong 'cause looks like you're just as selfless as I am"

Regina huffs, still angry, but accepts the blonde's excuse. "We are not as different as you may think, Miss Swan", she adds with a pointy look.

"That's why you considered me worthy of getting your memories?", Emma asks with what looks like deep interest.

"Actually no", Regina says simply.

"What was it then?", the blonde insists.

The brunette sighs, asking herself if sharing her motives is a good idea. She looks into Emma's bright green eyes, filled with genuine curiosity and something like hope and just can't resist letting her in. "I just… trust you. I trust your judgment", Emma seems to be taken aback by the admission. Regina then teases to lighten the moment, "not in general, of course, as I'm still waiting for the right time to burn down that hideous red leather jacket you insist to wear and that monstrous yellow death trap you call a car", she says with a smirk, to what Emma just rolls her eyes.

Regina then looks down to her hands and finishes, "But I trust your judgment when it comes to Henry. Because I know - based on our similarities - that you will do anything for him, and I also know - based in our differences - that you won't make the same mistakes I did when I had the chance to be his mother"

There's a moment of silence and Regina doesn't dare to look up. She thinks she hears Emma saying "wow" in a low voice, but nothing else happens.

She starts to feel a little vulnerable so she goes for the teasing to get the conversation back on track, "And if you ever disappoint him I will hunt you down throughout hell and cut you limb by limb, and drink your blood with Satan".

"Now that's more like it", Emma says in an amused tone and the mood is light again.

They look at each other and laugh together, finishing their drinks.

Emma looks down to her hands and thinks for a moment, then looks up and says, "I guess it's my turn to say thank you"

Regina only nods.

"So, thank you. For giving me and Henry a good life. A pretty sweet heavenly life. Seriously, it is amazing, we're really happy. Thank you for that second chance to be a mother and for trusting me when it comes to our son", the blonde pauses her rambling for a moment, then continues, "And thank you for sharing your memories with me. You're right; you two had a really special thing going. I feel a whole lot better now that I know firsthand how great my son's childhood was".

Emma then looks right into Regina's eyes with a certainty full of meaning and finishes, "Thank you for letting me in, for considering me worthy to be a part of this, of your life".

They hold each other's gaze for what seems to be an eternity.

"You are", Regina whispers.

"What?", Emma asks in a whisper too, afraid that even a louder tone may ruin the moment.

"Worthy"

"You are too"

The air in the room thickens; there's a heavy silence but they can swear that their heartbeats are louder - and faster - than everything else in the world. Neither of them dare to move or speak, they just keep looking into each other's eyes.

Now it's Emma's turn to start feeling vulnerable so she decides to end this. "It's getting late, I should go"

"You barely had one glass", Regina says and she can't mask the disappointment in her tone.

"No, yeah, you were right. This thing is strong", Emma replies putting her glass on the coffee table between them, "I should quit before I black out again and hit someone this time"

Since the moment is over anyway, Regina decides to play along. "So you admit that it was the drinks the first time around?", she says putting her glass down too.

"See, I'm already drunk and bullshitting", the blonde says back while getting up.

The brunette just looks at her for a moment, and shakes her head. She then gets up too and heads to the living room, "Alright then, I will walk you to the door".

Once Emma is on the porch and Regina is leaning on the front door, they hesitate for a moment, neither of them ready to part ways yet.

Regina decides to give them an excuse and satisfy her curiosity. "Before you go, can I ask something?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you come here tonight?"

Emma shrugs, "I told you, I was bored and wanted to drink"

Regina gives her a disbelieving look. "I may not have your superpower, but I can tell you're lying", she pauses and repeats her question with more emphasis. "Why did you really come here, Emma?"

The blonde bites her bottom lip and asks, "For real?"

The brunette only nods in response.

Emma shrugs again, "I have no fucking idea", she states chuckling.

Regina is not satisfied with the answer so she just keeps staring at the other woman, waiting for her to elaborate.

Emma sighs loudly and gives in. "I just… I don't know. It was really cool spending the day with you, it was… nice. It was a very dramatic day, but with you, it just seemed lighter. Sometimes it was even fun. The talking, the scheming, the chasing. Everything just seemed familiar, it all just felt so… I don't know. But it was a good feeling and I just missed when it was over", she paused her rambling and smiled. "I guess I just wanted to feel that again"

"Did you?", Regina asks hesitant.

Emma looks at her still with a smile in her face, "Yeah, I did". There's a heartbeat, then she asks the brunette, "Why did you call me?"

Regina smiles back and says "I think you already answered that question 30 seconds ago, dear".

There's another heartbeat.

"I'm glad we did this, Regina. We needed that conversation", Emma says pointing the insides of the mansion.

"I know. I'm glad too"

"I should go now"

"Okay"

But neither of them moves. They stare at each other for a little longer, smiling. Regina takes the lead this time and decides to end this before it could turn into something else. She nods her head and proceeds to close the door.

"Good night, Emma"

"Good night, 'Gina"

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies for all mistakes and sloppy writing.


End file.
